Was reading this post on Dayre and this line really spoke to me.
I don't want to delve into details but basically Mav and I celebrated our anniversary last night and for the longest time I had this whole perfect date night envisioned. But as the day unfolded, a lot of the important "elements" of my perfect date night did not show up and I couldn't help but feel... sorely disappointed.
(short disclaimer: it's not that I completely didn't enjoy myself that day because I did, but it's like the impact of the disappointment was way bigger???)
By the end of the night when I went home, all I wanted to do was cry. I felt EXTREMELY sad because I was looking forward to this anniversary date for so long, but it just seemed like everything didn't go as I had imagined/wanted it to be. Mav could tell I was very upset that night, because I don't do a very good job at hiding my negative emotions. I told him I was just very disappointed with how the night went, and he apologized. As upset as I was, I knew I couldn't (and didn't want to) blame him, because he had just returned from a grueling 3 weeks army trip to Brunei. He still had a lot on his mind, and he was constantly tired. Yet, he still made the effort to meet me every single day he was free and I knew he really did try his best.
Even after he apologized and explained himself, I couldn't help but still want to wallow in sadness for the remainder of that night for the loss of my perfect date night. The moment I texted Mav that, he called me immediately (at 3am) to make sure I was okay. The call made me cry even more because I felt bad that he felt bad for something I knew I couldn't blame him for. For the entirety of the 11 minutes call, I was just sobbing non-stop and I barely spoke a word except to acknowledge Mav when he asked if I was okay/still there. Mav stayed on the call anyway and whenever I started bursting out in tears again, he'd calmly say: "I'm here".
It took me about 2 hours of whining and crying, but eventually I finally realized that all the things I had in mind that made up my perfect date night did not matter as much as the emphasis I had placed on it when it comes to Mav. I thought not having all that meant that Mav did not care about me as much as I had wanted him to, but it didn't. Mav does love me a heck lot, he just shows in in a different way that doesn't include showering me with extravagant gifts and flowers that I can show off or posting multiple photos of me on instagram with cheesy captions (even though he did actually post a photo of us later on, because he knew I really wanted it haha).
He shows me he loves me in the little things he does: like inviting me to hang out with his (vvvvv nice and hospitable) friends at night, or simply just staying with me on the phone while I became a big blob of sadness, even apologizing instead of getting frustrated or angry because he simply knows better.
He does it by giving me the first prawn he peels during our dinner, or when he insists I am beautiful even when I say my hair looks like shit. He does it by always reaching out to hold my hand first (in public or not), or when he calls his friend to buy plain water for me when the bar we were at didn't serve any.
He does it by carrying all my shopping bags without me asking, or when he buys me food and refuses to tell me how much it was so I can't pay him back. He does it by kissing my forehead before he leaves our table to grab something else, or when he lets me go to the toilet first (despite being more urgent than I was) while he stands outside holding all my stuff. He does it by always waiting for me to reach home first before he goes to sleep, or when he tells me "thanks for today" every time we meet without fail and never lets me go to sleep unappreciated.
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It took me 1 valentine's day and 1 anniversary date to realize that it's not how extravagant or lavish the date is that matters, but how Mav treats me every single day in our relationship that does. He loves me unconditionally and makes me extremely happy, and that is infinitely better than any "perfect date night".
edit (25/4): I received flowers at my doorste this evening and I immediately knew it was Mav's doing!!!!!!!! knowing that I was really upset over not getting flowers for our anniversary date, that sneaky little bugger went ahead to order flowers the next day to make it up to me ;_____; he didn't have to but omg I AM SO THANKFUL AND LOVED :((((
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