day 312/670: no more commando-to-be

26 May 

Time really flies right, bubs? 

I still remember when you fought your way through and managed to enter the Sharp Shooters course after POP, and when you found out that you had to go through training more rigorous than your other vocation counterparts. In stark contrast, I also remember your airborne course days, and the nights out you had almost every other night which we'd spend drinking Gongcha and eating Hotstar chicken at our usual Tampines 1 spot. 

I remember the days before you entered Hendon on January 10th, how desolated and miserable you looked, or how we had to adjust from having multiple nights out in a week to suddenly having none at all. I remember the outfields you had and really missing you, because even the mere 2-3 days of no contact from you felt like forever. 

I remember the several times you'd rant to me about army, about how much you hated it and how badly you really wanted to get out. I remember feeling lost and hopeless, because I wanted so badly to do more for you, but instead I could only just watch as you went through hell in camp. 

I remember when you went off to Brunei, and how for that 3 weeks I constantly felt like a part of me was missing. I put as many work shifts as I could that month because I needed something to distract me but I still checked my countdown app almost everyday, willing for the days to move faster. 

I remember the night when you told me you felt no sense of control over your life anymore, and how badly you wanted to get it back. I swear my heart never felt as broken as it did when you told me that, because for the first time I realized just how suffocated you felt there. I remember going over to your house almost everyday after you came back from Brunei, and watching you sleep the afternoon away, trying to repay your sleep debt. 

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I know you've regretted entering commandos multiple times, especially when you hear about the current lives of your other NS friends. You've stuck on for as long as you did to make your family and I proud, and I know when your detachment mates ask about your motivation for staying on, you reply: "I want to bring my girlfriend to social night". You always make it seem like it's not a big deal (when it is) because you don't want me to worry too much, but I hope you know I'm extremely proud of you for persevering anyway. I was beaming with so much joy and pride when you walked towards us in your red beret, and I really had to stop myself from squealing out loud in excitement hahahahahaha. 

It's been an extremely tough 10 months for you, but look bibs, you did it :-) 

iPhone photos 124 - HSS FO '16 | Graduation | Work Shenanigans

what I've been up to the past month:

19 April (Tuesday) 

no idea why I look so chubby in this pic... but this was morning of HSS' Freshmen Orientation camp Day 1 w/ my Lupi GLs :")


and us again at night, after a lot of screaming and cheering and running around in the hot sun


hey look who's this familiar boy that came to visit me in camp during his nights out???? :))))
Mav even bought like 7 cups of grass jelly w/ mint to share among my entire empire??? it's supposedly good for sore throats which almost all of us had lololol so thx u bb :'( 

20 April (Wednesday) 

Day 2 with our beloved freshies!!! 

we also had day 3 but my entire body just gave up on me and I had to miss out most of the day's activities (｡•́︿•̀｡) this year's FO felt very different from last year's, but I guess it was still an enriching experience.

24 April (Sunday) 

Sent Mav off to the dreaded 3 weeks long Brunei trip :(

9 May (Monday) 

also officially graduated from Temasek Poly!!!!


u can hear my most supportive bestfriends (who snuck into TP) in the background screaming for me sobs T_T i love yall


Thank you Andria for this pic!!!

I took way more photos but here are just some of the pictures taken that day:

all the people who have played a huge role in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really love everyone else I took photos with that day but trying to keep this short update... short hahahaha. still, thank you to everyone who came up to take pictures with me or gave me letters & gifts, because I really felt vvvv loved that day???? I was genuinely taken aback AND I REALLY AM VVV THANKFUL OK!!!!! ;______;

13 May (Friday) 

Varsity Night w/ Weiling... thank you Lord for speaking to me and telling me what I really needed to hear 

18 May (Wednesday) 
Dinner @ Bird Bird with my Major Project homies!!!! 

Food was pricey but there were the few vvvv exceptional ones like the grilled chicken & sweet potato fries omGGGG


thank u ms kek for the treat and my MP mates for making factor analyses bearable :') really missed yall and hope everyone is doing well!!!1 

21 May (Saturday) 

stayed 45 minutes past my Saturday morning shift (while waiting for Mav to pick me up) and got to work with my 3 favourite CocoCane girls for awhile??????? it was the first time the 4 of us were working together in the same shift and WE WERE RIDICULOUSLY NOISY OMG HAHA


After Mav came to pick me up, we headed out for our anniversary dinner at Irodori :-9
Unfortunately didn't have much appetite that day which is such a shame because it was a buffet dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I managed to eat like 4 of my FAV croquettes wtf and we even had waffles w/ ice cream afterwards teehee 

22 May (Sunday) 

Mav had to book in at 4pm that day which was a real bummer :-(........... but he got to book out again for dinner later that night (wtf) so I still managed to meet him again :-)))) 

Only had till 9pm so we had dinner nearby his camp at Changi Village!! really simple but nice dinner :-) 

23 May (Monday) 

these are the aforementioned "3 fav cococane girls", Weiwei, Pearlynn and Peiru!!!! The 3 of us had a shift together that night and Peiru came down from Woodlands to find us SO we had to take our first photo together HAHAHA

Also we are all holding food & drinks because every time we have a shift together, we eat non-stop.............. it's ridiculous la HAHAHAHA. But on a more serious note, I'm really thankful to have found friends in this job because it really makes a huge difference to the whole working experience. It makes leaving CocoCane in July way harder because I won't see them once every few days anymore :-(((((

24 May (Tuesday) 

mirror ootd because I bothered to wear something nicer that day for work LOL

25 May (Wednesday) 

backstory here but these are the flowers that Mav had delivered to my home as a surprise?????????? aiya he really spoils and indulges in me la IM VERY LUCKY ;_;

26 May (Thursday) 

vvvv special day for my commando hehehehe but I have already written a separate post!!!!!!!!!


huehue ok bai!!!!!!!!!!! 

my perfect date night

"I think the quiet and personal moments show more than the loud outbursts of outward affection." (dayre.me/twinkles) 

Was reading this post on Dayre and this line really spoke to me. 

I don't want to delve into details but basically Mav and I celebrated our anniversary last night and for the longest time I had this whole perfect date night envisioned. But as the day unfolded, a lot of the important "elements" of my perfect date night did not show up and I couldn't help but feel... sorely disappointed. 

(short disclaimer: it's not that I completely didn't enjoy myself that day because I did, but it's like the impact of the disappointment was way bigger???) 

By the end of the night when I went home, all I wanted to do was cry. I felt EXTREMELY sad because I was looking forward to this anniversary date for so long, but it just seemed like everything didn't go as I had imagined/wanted it to be. Mav could tell I was very upset that night, because I don't do a very good job at hiding my negative emotions. I told him I was just very disappointed with how the night went, and he apologized. As upset as I was, I knew I couldn't (and didn't want to) blame him, because he had just returned from a grueling 3 weeks army trip to Brunei. He still had a lot on his mind, and he was constantly tired. Yet, he still made the effort to meet me every single day he was free and I knew he really did try his best. 

Even after he apologized and explained himself, I couldn't help but still want to wallow in sadness for the remainder of that night for the loss of my perfect date night. The moment I texted Mav that, he called me immediately (at 3am) to make sure I was okay. The call made me cry even more because I felt bad that he felt bad for something I knew I couldn't blame him for. For the entirety of the 11 minutes call, I was just sobbing non-stop and I barely spoke a word except to acknowledge Mav when he asked if I was okay/still there. Mav stayed on the call anyway and whenever I started bursting out in tears again, he'd calmly say: "I'm here". 

It took me about 2 hours of whining and crying, but eventually I finally realized that all the things I had in mind that made up my perfect date night did not matter as much as the emphasis I had placed on it when it comes to Mav. I thought not having all that meant that Mav did not care about me as much as I had wanted him to, but it didn't. Mav does love me a heck lot, he just shows in in a different way that doesn't include showering me with extravagant gifts and flowers that I can show off or posting multiple photos of me on instagram with cheesy captions (even though he did actually post a photo of us later on, because he knew I really wanted it haha). 

He shows me he loves me in the little things he does: like inviting me to hang out with his (vvvvv nice and hospitable) friends at night, or simply just staying with me on the phone while I became a big blob of sadness, even apologizing instead of getting frustrated or angry because he simply knows better. 

He does it by giving me the first prawn he peels during our dinner, or when he insists I am beautiful even when I say my hair looks like shit. He does it by always reaching out to hold my hand first (in public or not), or when he calls his friend to buy plain water for me when the bar we were at didn't serve any. 

He does it by carrying all my shopping bags without me asking, or when he buys me food and refuses to tell me how much it was so I can't pay him back. He does it by kissing my forehead before he leaves our table to grab something else, or when he lets me go to the toilet first (despite being more urgent than I was) while he stands outside holding all my stuff. He does it by always waiting for me to reach home first before he goes to sleep, or when he tells me "thanks for today" every time we meet without fail and never lets me go to sleep unappreciated. 

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It took me 1 valentine's day and 1 anniversary date to realize that it's not how extravagant or lavish the date is that matters, but how Mav treats me every single day in our relationship that does. He loves me unconditionally and makes me extremely happy, and that is infinitely better than any "perfect date night". 

edit (25/4): I received flowers at my doorste this evening and I immediately knew it was Mav's doing!!!!!!!! knowing that I was really upset over not getting flowers for our anniversary date, that sneaky little bugger went ahead to order flowers the next day to make it up to me ;_____; he didn't have to but omg I AM SO THANKFUL AND LOVED :(((( 

Bangkok '16 (Day 3 & 4) - CTC | Union Mall | Siam Night Market | Platinum Mall

9 April (Saturday) 

Had one of my BAKE cheese tarts for breakfast :-9 

and off we headed to Chatuchak Weekend Market!!!! I sacrificed my weekends w/ Mav for this weekend market lololol 

Kim went to church so it was just weiling and i to brave the heat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

our lunch that left weiling and I SUPER HAPPY & SATISFIED!! And it was super cheap too like 100Baht??? when the guy told us how much it was, we had to ask him again because we couldn't believe it haha 

the girl photobombed us and it was quite funny... I turned to look at her after this pic and we both laughed HAHA 

I didn't take much photos because we did not last very long in CTC??????? it was so hot and humid and I underestimated my abilities to withstand the heat LOL 

took a cab to nearby Union mall asap for some aircon LOL 

Union Mall was kind of a disappointment though :-( I heard mixed reviews about it regarding the price range here, but I thought it was only slightly cheaper than Platinum Mall. But in its defence, I managed to find a few good deals and it's very spacious as compared to Platinum!!!

We also might have not spent our time there very wisely because we mostly just sat downstairs eating hongkong egglets and recharging ourselves.... HAHAHA NO REGRETS THO cause we really neeed it 

BUT I FINALLY GOT TO EAT CREPES TEEHEE 

Idk why but by day 3, we were both SUPER tired and very nua???? It was a pretty long ass ride from the mall back to our hotel and Weiling even fell asleep. I was on the verge of sleeping too but it was just the 2 of us on a taxi in a foreign country.... and I didn't want to risk being kidnapped ;_;  

Headed to Siam Paragon for dinner at Sansab!!!! I saw this on Dayre a few days before coming to BKK and told Weiling (who was planning our itinerary) that I wanted to come here like 3 times lolol 

Came for this!!! It wasn't very spectacular, but it did look very aesthetically pleasing LOL
THE PAN WAS SURPRISINGLY VERY SHALLOW THOUGH LOLOL because I expected it to be like a hotpot?????????????? 

This however was marvellous!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like this yoghurt/yakult ice-blended thing with jelly!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD AND YUMMY OMG I CRI would go back just for this 

my calves were very thin that day and i luv it 

also new top and bag that I love and immediately wore from Chatuchak, 120B and 100B respectively!!! 

Headed to Siam Center afterwards to check out Sephora for NYX's soft matte lip cream but they didn't have the colour i wanted :-( 

Siam Night Market afterwards!!!! It was really crowded but clothes and stuff were not bad and relatively cheap too!! 

Finished walking through the night market really quickly so we took a cab down to this massage place Weiling heard about :------) We both did the 1 hour thai massage and wtf damn shiok pls 

We were given tea afterwards (which seems to be the norm in these spa places) and it was such a zen and chill experience LOL 

Bought this banana + chocolate + condensed milk toast from Palladium Night Market but it got stale fast and was rather disappointing :-( the owners were so lovely tho!!! 

The masseuse retied my hair after she massaged my head and I thought it looked quite ~*~speshul~*~ 

10 April (Sunday) 

Last day in BKK!!! and a commemorative shot outside Palladium Mall, which is just next to our hotel!!!


Had our lunch at the famed Platinum Mall food court again


I really wanted to get japanese food (below) but felt like I didn't eat very much thai food so I ordered this???? LOL it's tomyum pork beehoon (????) and it was quite nice, albeit a bit spicy and came in a very small portion :-(


kim let me try her udon and it was good ;_;


had to have my grass jelly with brown sugar before leaving!!! had this in CTC and it was a saviour in the heat wtf


BUMPED INTO MY PRECIOUS WEIWEI (colleague from work!!) AGAIN FOR THE SECOND TIME :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))


Shopped around Platinum again after eating because we were too lazy to go elsewhere haha


Amanda from my course!!!!!! really bumping into a lot of friends this trip hahahaha


The only thing I got from Platinum Mall (that wasn't charged exorbitantly) was a pair of grey culottes from this 200B shop which I quite like!! There are more than one of these shops in the mall and it's quite easy to spot because of its trademark "SALE" and "200" papers plastered on the walls LOL

After which, we went back to our hotel to grab our stuff before leaving for the airport :-(

feat. aforementioned 200B culottes


what a fun bunch of people :') :')
i really enjoyed my stay at The Bekerley Hotel and i highly recommend it????? the location is pretty good, rooms are huge (3 of us stayed in the family premier) and the staff are all really friendly!!!!!


en route to the airport on a METERED CAB!!! the hotel staff helped us ask all the taxis the came by if they would turn on their meters, but like 3-4 rejected us??? LOL everyone quoted like 500-600B but guess who only paid ~200+ in the end YEY


airport toilet ootd because I thought I matched the toilet HAHAHAHAAHAHHA
also everything I am wearing here was bought in BKK teehee
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OK BYE I miss bkk already and I can't wait to go back!!!! Hopefully for more days so I can explore other places like Victory Monument, JJ Green and the other 2 Ratchada/train night markets!!!