Complete?

"I can't believe I'm saying this but... shit I'm complete. I don't know if anyone will understand this but I'm complete. And one day I hope you'll feel this too."

"Long story short, I was talking to a friend about this and he went like 'Dude, why are you in a dilemma? Your life is great right now.' So I was just like 'Yea, yea it is.'"
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Stumbled upon this tutor's Instagram post with the top student of HSS from last year's cohort, and the jealousy was real man. But then I remembered that that tutor also once told me that I was in Top 3 of my own cohort (as of Year 2 la; don't know which position though, I'm suspecting 3rd) and I just felt like I didn't deserve to feel jealous?? Because 3rd place is already vvvvv good la honestly speaking but then again nobody really notices the runner ups, everyone mainly just remembers the top champion y'know. And then I was watching this show that featured all these artist's artwork (worth like $20-50,000 wtf) and I felt jealous again because I was never going to be that talented in art. Which again I didn't feel like I deserved to be jealous about because while I'm not very creative (lol), sometimes I draw quite nice la???

And then it got me thinking about how we as humans will probably always find it really, really, really hard to be 100% fully satisfied with ourselves and what we have?? We're always going to want something better (that someone has) but then when we DO get it, we want something even better again. And this vicious cycle just continues over and over again till one day when you're lucky enough to be satisfied with what you already have?? So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I should really learn to appreciate what I already have first la, instead of always staying in that constant vicious cycle of ALWAYS wanting something even better and never being satisfied.

Today was an eventful day (not in a good way) but with all the anxiety (being late) and disappointment (termination) I faced today, I got to experience the love from the people around me and that's more than enough, I guess.

...So yeah, my life is great. And one day I hope I'll feel complete too.