89/100 isn't satisfactory
3.95 isn't the best because the highest I can go will (only) be 3.97 and I'm not even sure if I can even reach that point
And I am scared for myself because how much will be "enough" for me
How much before I can say "good job jerlyn"
How much before I can be genuinely proud of myself and be happy with whatever I've gotten
How much before I look at 89/100 and not think about the 90/100 I could have gotten
How much more can I go before I really reach the maximum point and still not be satisfied enough
Yeah jerlyn you have nothing to worry about
How about no I have everything to worry about
What if I was better off as that sec 3 Jerlyn who didn't get good marks or who barely passed her tests and had to even take a retest for a retest and who didn't have so high expectations of herself because she didn't know she could even achieve that much
And the higher you go, the harder the fall
But I don't want to fall so the only way I can go is up where the stakes get even higher yknow
And when you fall from that height you make a much larger impact and everyone will find out
How can people get an average of 93/100 for their whole 3 years in poly
How can people get 6 distinctions out of 6 subjects
How can people get a LKY award and cope with being a president of their CCA + still get a good gpa (and "why didn't you continue to stay in maincomm??????" haHahAaa because I can't cope)
And when you fall from that height you make a much larger impact and everyone will find out
How can people get an average of 93/100 for their whole 3 years in poly
How can people get 6 distinctions out of 6 subjects
How can people get a LKY award and cope with being a president of their CCA + still get a good gpa (and "why didn't you continue to stay in maincomm??????" haHahAaa because I can't cope)
And please don't worry about me cause I'll be ok and I've had so much of these moods of fear about the future but I'll be ok
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